Roller Coaster Ride

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Absolutely! Hands down two of my most favorite verses in the bible! These were two of the first scriptures I memorized when I came back to the Lord five years ago! The promises of God’s goodness found in both these verses and the reminders that His ways are higher his plans are far more reaching than we could ever fathom are so comforting!

If you would’ve asked me six months ago what I thought I would be doing around fall 2018 my answer would’ve included many things. Getting Kiddos back to school and getting back into routine (One of my favorite things routines 😊.) Starting to run again hopefully working a 5k into the schedule before it gets too cold. Counting down the months until Tim and I planned to spend Valentines week in Mexico.  What was NOT on my mind was getting sick, planning our lives around chemo schedules, and really our whole world turned upside down! It is in circumstances like these that Jeremiah 29:11 and Proverbs 19:21 remind and encourage me that even though this would not be what I would plan for myself or my family that his plans are much larger in scale than I could even imagine! And even though at this moment it hurts and can be confusing at times my future is in His Hands and his word clearly promises prosperity and hope in that future!!!

It has taken me a minute to get back on the blogging train. The last week has held quite a few ups and downs. Last Sunday was a really good day and the last time I updated everyone! The next few days I was unable to sleep due to steroids they had me take for 5 days following chemotherapy. By day two (Tuesday) I was feeling very strung out and anxious due to lack of sleep. I called my doctors office and they prescribed me a sleep aid. So, then I took that and slept that third night and pretty much all of Wednesday. Can see from one extreme to the other took quite a toll on my body! During this time, I am completely thankful that my family once again rallied around Tim and I. Taking care of our home and our 5 children. Which believe me is not an easy task. My mom and mother in law spent many nights here taking the baby at night, making sure the older kids got to where they needed during the day, did laundry, cleaned the house, and really took care of me as well! (When I think of the sacrifice everyone is making to ensure our home runs as smoothly as possible during this time I am overwhelmed with gratitude of such amazing people God has placed in my life! I look forward to the day I can show the same support for others found in my position.) Once Thursday came I began feeling more like myself. By the weekend I felt good and decided to take on some major projects around the house, went to church Sunday and was so happy to be out and about! Then Monday came, and I felt terrible! I had a horrible migraine and (sorry for the honesty trying to keep my blog as real as real can get I guess) had a few horrible bowel movements that contained blood and was a very questionable color. After talking to my Oncologist, we decided best if I be seen in the ER in Iowa City. So, I called in the troops my mothers came out to help hold down the fort. A good family friend picked me up and drove me into Moline where I met Tim and we proceeded to the hospital. I underwent a CT scan and MRI for the Migraine, bloodwork and swabs of unmentionable places to ensure no infections. Overall, not one of the most fun days in my books. But thankfully most everything checked out okay, so it could’ve been a lot worse! My bloodwork was the only thing they found alarming which is common in chemo patients. So, they cautioned about going out in public and masking it up when I do (So if any of you see me with a mask you know why 😊.)  And told me I really need to lay low and rest not to taking on so much when I feel good! Or I will end up back there.  I am beginning to understand the importance of having to take these precautions, because so many odd things are going on in my body right now! Though it is very humbling for me to put such limitations on myself.  As a mother, wife, daughter, woman I take some pride in taking care of my family and home. It is heartbreaking to me to feel as though I am dropping the ball and relying on others for almost everything. I think this will be one of the biggest challenges I face throughout this journey. Balancing what I was capable of and what I am capable of in this short season of life!

Though this would not be anywhere near the plan I would make for myself. I will continue to hold on to the promises that His ways are not my ways and His plans are not my plans. Trusting and believing that good will overcome all these obstacles. That my vision is very short sighted compared to what he sees and does throughout all our circumstances! And that my future will be AWESOME!!!!

One thought on “Roller Coaster Ride

  1. But now, O Jacob(Rachel), listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine
    When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
    For I am the Lord , your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…..
    Isaiah 43:1-3
    Praying for you💜


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